I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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