I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
