then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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