'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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