I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
