So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
