YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It's never too late to be topless.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
