omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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