whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
