We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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