god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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