The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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