I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
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I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
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He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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