someone get that fucking seahorse.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
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