dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
