oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
