He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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