No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Boobs are out for the taking
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
