Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
