Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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