Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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