Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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