Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
