I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
