Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
