I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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