oh fat girl friday strikes again...
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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