You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
