Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
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