The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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