once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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