So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
