you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
