so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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