Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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