I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
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