How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
