y did u give ur computer a hand job?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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