thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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