I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
