Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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