They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
