Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
