Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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