Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'