U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success