god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.