took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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