The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
