We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
wanna go halves on a baby?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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