True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
