HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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