it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
