Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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