well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
