This girl is more easily done than said...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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