Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
