How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
