Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
