i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
