if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
