Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
