Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
