The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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