sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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