i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
