Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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