If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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