I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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