i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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