a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
