Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I understand Curling. That high.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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