You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
