My brain says no but my pants say off.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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