I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
